To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not, rich; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart; to study hard; to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, await occasions, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common--this is my symphony.
~William Henry Channing

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Hitting the Gym (Again)

For our anniversary we joined the local gym. I guess when you reach a certain age flowers and chocolates drop a little lower on the must have list. Notice that I didn't say they drop off the list...they just get bumped down a little by more pressing (or flabby) concerns.
Anyway, last night was my first official workout and I thought I'd share some observations I made during this momentous outing.
The bathroom of course was my first stop. I mean I'm forty and I've delivered five children. The bathroom is always my first stop. I noticed right off that they've redone the restroom. I still don't plan on ever taking a shower there but I like the new tile. But then I started looking at the craftsmanship. It's only so so and granted I've never installed tile before so what do I really know but I'm thinking for what they're charging us a month they could have hired someone with a little bit more skill so it doesn't get called into question.
It seems that no matter how hard I've worked the last several months on my diet the elliptical machine can still kick what's left of my behind. I managed a whole five minutes before I-totally-planned-to-only-do-five-minutes-cos-it's-my-warm-up nonchalantly stepped off the evil thing. I will keep at it though and plan to be up to a whole ten minutes in a couple of months.
To the ultra slim and in shape woman who practically ran for thirty five minutes straight on the evil elliptical? Show off.
Loved riding the bike but wish there had been something more interesting to watch on one of the gazillion tv's pointed at me. Okay, it was more like six televisions but did they all have to be tuned in to the exact same basketball game? The music wasn't horrible which is saying something.
Thighs, I believe, are not lethal weapons. Doing 180 lbs on the thigh adductor machine is not natural. It pretty much guarantees that I will be scared and run away from you if I happen to see you. I'm really glad this machine faces a wall otherwise it would be pretty embarrassing and horribly inappropriate. I'm thinking I had flashbacks to giving birth though.
I'm really sorry for counting out loud under my breathe while doing the abdominal flattener thing. I'm trying to do sets of fifteen but it's hard to remember to breathe and keep count in my head at the same time. You'll be amused to know that each set is assigned a body part upon completion. Set one is my right foot...set two is my left, hands, head, etc. It's the only way I can keep track of how many sets I've done. I'm positive I couldn't do this on anything that required me to stand as I would more than likely trip over my own feet.
I've also discovered that there are at least two new workout pieces of equipment that I will only make use of when there is hardly anyone present at all.
One is this nifty row like apparatus. I think I'll like it but right now I've got this really jerky rhythm...it feels like I'm learning to drive a stick shift with all the stops and starts.
Then there is this beast called Jacob's ladder. Which is complete and utter mortification just waiting to happen as far as I'm concerned. It functions like an escalator that you ride practically on all fours. Dangerous and worth avoiding I think.
I finished my workout and stepped outside, took a deep breathe and inhaled the scent of pizza.
Seriously?
There should be some kind of zoning law about restaurants not being within something like, oh twenty miles of an exercise establishment don't you think?

1 comments:

Roni said...

Oh my gosh, I was rolling on the floor over this post. You have quite the comedian in you, girl. I'm so tired but I was laughing my head off!