To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not, rich; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart; to study hard; to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, await occasions, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common--this is my symphony.
~William Henry Channing

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Learning Lessons (Again)

So, this week has been just a bit...well, off. I've been tired and emotional (!) and generally a mess in my head. How I've managed to be productive at all is beyond my comprehension because I feel like I've sat around like a lump all week. Everything, every little thing, seemed huge and overwhelming.

On Tuesday I dropped my favorite coffee cup, full of coffee mind you, and it shattered all over the floor. I sounded so pitiful to Rob on the phone that he swung by the house just to make sure I was okay.
Yesterday afternoon the house was quite.
Very quiet.
And not the joyful and peaceful quite we want. But rather, the don't make any sudden noise or movement around her or she's gonna loose it kind of quiet. I was making bar-b-que for dinner last night at church and I dropped the crock pot full of beef into the sink and in the process spilled/splattered/sploshed boiling beef stock up the wall, cabinet, and across the floor.
Did I mention it also sploshed into my face? And did I mention that I had just mopped the floor?
Yea, not one of my happier moments. I didn't say a word. I think I just shut my brain off or it was going to explode. Which is why the kids got so quiet I think...I freaked them out. (May I just say for the record that I think this is a good thing? It keeps them on their toes. :-)
Anyway, this morning I decided enough was enough. I needed to do something hard...good physical labor. So I worked in our garage. Yes, I know that I've probably blogged about three or four garage cleanings. You'd think it would stay clean but someone gave us this monster shelf so I really need to do some work out there to utilize the space.
But my garage, clean or organized, is not the point of this post.
Go on...click it. And read it. It'll only take a minute I promise.
~Waiting patiently~
You're done reading it?
I know, right?
A quiet heart. Mine hasn't been quiet. It's been whiny.
I'm so tired.
I feel so overwhelmed today.
I'm so emotional.
Pardon me, ma'am. But would you like some cheese to go with that whine?
I love that in J's case she sees the value in denying whatever it is that her heart is discontent over. Her examples are great so if you didn't click over and read it you really should. Seriously.
I think I needed to deny myself the down time I was taking. Before somebody shoots off a comment about how we all need down time...especially when we're tired...let me just say I get that. I really do. We need to be wise and know when we need rest both in our mind and our body. But what I needed was a swift kick in my pants. The more I sat because I just didn't feel up for anything the less I felt up for something. It wasn't rejuvenating...it was sucking the life out of me.
Hence, the garage organizing. And it worked. At the end of this day I feel more at ease in my skin and in control of my emotions than I have all week. I feel less cluttered and junky feeling. When will I learn this lesson? And not waste a day or two before I figure it out all over again?
It made me think of this verse in Ephesians and how much we need each other to bear with us.
I've sure needed it this week. I'm thankful I've got people in my life willing to do it.
The whole thing inspired this weeks shot for 52 weeks. Not because it's such a great picture but because it's such a great truth.

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